It is unfortunate that I find visitors who read my articles and blog posts are the one who have come across a painful situation in their marital situation…which is none other than the spouse having an affair. I can understand their plight as I myself have been victim of the same situation.
It is quite evident that people think now that is the end and think they cannot move forward. Everything is now lost, all hopes are vanishing. But is that the way it should be? Can a victim of an affair overcome the pain and sorrow?
Some people ask how they can really get over these betrayals. Another common thought is about having a normal and peaceful life again. I’ll do my best to try to discuss some of the aspect and the solutions in this post.
It is common that you want yourself to be heard, many wives ask me that even after they have caught their husband having an affair, they never feel sorry and try to shift blame on to them, as if the wives are responsible for all the problems. It’s an irresponsible act, I know, but that’s how a cheater will react when trying to save their own skin.
This is a situation which creates lots of tension and hatred between husband and wife. If you really have a big heart and want to forgive your husband, you must create a situation where your husband realizes what he has done and its ill effects on the marriage.
You must clearly discuss with him and make it clear that such his affairs will not be tolerated. Remember, never blame yourself for his inability to be faithful and do not allow him to shift blame on to you.
Whatever the reasons may be, even if there are some trouble spots in your married life, he chose to have an extra marital relationship and now he has to clean up the mess he has created. This is his shortcoming and not yours, and you must ensure that he cease his relationship with the other woman immediately. Only then can you start to forgive him.
Understandable, you will start doubting him, what will happen if he cheats again? You need to have a serious discussion with your husband and you have to get a firm assurance from him that he will never cheat on you again.
To survive an affair, you and your husband need a complete revamping of your lifestyle. He has no other choice than to fulfil his obligation and behave like a faithful husband.
As a wife, you have to find the reasons why the affair happened in the first place. When you know the reason, change has to take place to ensure the same problem do no happen again in the future.
Your intelligent way of tackling the situation will go long way in re-establishing the relationship with your husband. You must ask, or rather, demand that your husband be forever faithful to you or face the consequences.
Now is not the time to start a guessing game. Tell him exactly what you want and be stern. It is in the nature of a woman, that they want extra attention and it is the husband to take the lead.
Unfortunately, man by nature is hopeless in communication and they always look for cues from you. Show him a strong signal that you are serious and he ever cheats on you again, walk away and let your lawyers hound on him.