People who are of the opinion that having an extra marital relationship can save their marriage, it is quite surprising that how can such an affair improve your marriage.
Does it pay to betray the partner; this is a myth or may be self-satisfying to believe in such theories. Affair can really do these three things:
- One, it can totally destroy your marriage.
- Two, it can result in continuing your marriage even though the relationships are no more cordial and are damaged.
- Three, it can be a wakeup call for you so that you can take corrective steps.
Using the affair as a push you need to make things better. Again as said earlier that having an extra marital relationship can boost your married life, it is a myth and a big no. This is a destructive choice to make, the one who loves the spouse will think twice before getting involved in an affair.
But even if such thing happens, one must have capability to handle the situation in a matured way and stop doing anything which can have disastrous effect on the married life. There can be pain, distress, embarrassment, and you will have to face the difficult questions. In such situations the entire atmosphere will be highly tense.
As time is the big healer, by the passage of time the dust will get settled down and you both can decide something constructive to save the relations. You will have to decide whether to continue with your affair or simply spoil the married life which has taken years of your hard work to build.
If you decide to save the marriage, you must understand it is really a brave decision, you will have to do lot of hard work. You need to have a strong will to rebuild the relation that too step by step.
Do not rush, be patient, decisions taken in haste will have faulty and weak foundation. Make no mistakes, affairs and vulnerability that comes can show what is really important.
It is really common to fool ourselves that we take relations for granted and think even if neglect the people who are close to us will not feel bad.
It is very common with our spouses as we think we are married to each other everything should be fine. When an affair takes place, this assumption has no meaning and is no longer possible. The situation changes and the things you thought were good no longer remain the same.
So here you have two options, you can continue to ignore the situation and hope that all is well, you can also assume that you may revisit these issues later. Or you can simply shine a light on these things even if it is painful and make everlasting changes that will ensure that you do not have to limp along.
The affair which has taken place could be a momentary happening which overshadows your married life which has taken many years to build. You will have to sit together, discuss, though it is not that easy but this is a better alternative.
No one would like to break up the relationship with the person whom they love most; even just a threat could have a deterrent effect. You will have to really open your heart and discuss it.