By Dr. Frank Gunzburg Review

It is interesting to know that men and women cheat their partners for lot of different reasons. Men being aggressive in nature will try to do everything to prove other person wrong, even if it amounts to accepting a challenge to sleep with other partners.

On the other hand women will never divulge reasons why they have extra marital relation and would like to do so secretly. Normally women indulge in infidelity due to something lacking in their current relationship.

It might be due to the unkind attitude of their partner or any other reason where women feel neglected. It is tough to believe, that as per the research, the primary reason is in the upbringing which is not proper; hence they mess around with someone else apart from her partner.

But in any case upbringing cannot be the sole factor, even though it could be one of the reasons. There are instances where it has been seen that women cheat their husbands just because they feel bored with the single partner. Such women cannot be corrected as they find fun in doing so.

There are other reasons like the one having possessive relationship. Women who are in habit of cheating their partners can also cheat her present male friend, if he does not allow her to meet other males or speak to other males about the relationship.

Revenge is another reason why women indulge in infidelity; they want to reach a lesson to their partner for the rude behavior, neglecting her, hurt her. Since these acts of her partner depress her, she looks for happiness outside with other males. The best part is those women who try to find happiness with other males discuss their problem with them and end up having extra marital affairs.
 

Women cheat it is a fact, but reasons can be different for different women. Insecurity can be the main reason why women cheat their partners; they try to find security with other males.

Sometimes financial necessities can also push women towards infidelity. If all the demands of the woman are not met by their partners, they look for others for getting those things. This seems to be unfortunate as these women are really ambitious and believe in getting things even if they have to indulge in infidelity.

But one of the biggest reasons is that the charm in the relations between the partners has faded and the relationship has fallen apart. The economic reason can also not be ruled out, the recent recession have made things really difficult for the couple. Males are compelled to work extra to stabilize the financial position and hardly get time for the family.

The unstable financial condition is also one of the reasons why relations are falling apart. There are lots of women who cheat their partners, but the main reason for both woman and man is fading charm in their married life.

They are not happy with their current relationship. It is in human nature that if you are not able to get anything you want from your partner, you will try to get from outside even if it means cheating your partner.

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Though it would be really good if all marriages last till the very end, but it does not happen, many end up in separation and divorce. There could be plenty of reasons and even sometimes these reasons are quite funny but even then people get separated.

It has been found that 50% husbands and 30% wives cheat on their partners; this figure is quite alarming and an eye opener too. This percentage may be even higher but people will have to learn how to survive an affair.

These days affairs are quite common and even the economic crunch has also contributed to it. Earlier men were the sole bread earners and most of the women were home makers, but with the changing time both men and women work very hard for the survival and have less time for each other.

Their goal is the same, to earn more for the betterment of the entire family but what they do not realize is that love is lost somewhere in this process. There can be many reasons for this, since they spent a lot of time with colleagues and other acquaintances, there may be growing attractions between the two and that is where cheating starts.

This is the reason why many couples need counseling to survive the affair. Everyone when in adolescent age has a dream to find a perfect partner who gives love and respect and both can live happily thereafter, but unfortunately people do not follow it and the actual bliss of marriage is lost.

When a person gets involved in an affair, it is normally thought to be fun and exciting, but they do not realize that it can have devastating effect on their relationship. A couple is supposed to have strong bonding and trusts in one another; even if one partner breaks it, the other partner is totally shocked.

Love once shared is lost and life becomes hell for both, this has more devastating effect on the partner who is being cheated. It is not good to have extra marital relationship as this spoils the cozy atmosphere of the entire family, separation and going for divorce is also not a good option.

Though women may suffer more than men, but in some case men also sail in the same boat. This is a situation, though terrible has to be solved together. You need to talk and sort out the issues and get better understanding of the situation. The lost trust has to be regained, though difficult it is not impossible.

Both will have to redefine their relationship in the current situation. Just ending the marriage and splitting is not the answer, more trust should be given to the survival of the relationship. Sometimes love is not lost but trust is, to regain that trust both have to be transparent, it might be tough initially but it can be done.

One has to ensure that the partner who has cheated is repenting and has assured that the same will not be repeated. It requires lot of patience and dialogue to regain the trust and rebuild the relationship. In case you feel it is too difficult, you can go for the advice of a professional marriage counselor. Give expert counseling a try and you will get the desired results.

When an affair has left partners in a marriage hurt and bitter, causing pain to the one betrayed, the question of, “how to save my marriage after an affair” might or might not enter the picture. It may be too difficult, if not impossible, to get past the betrayal and give the marriage another chance.

Trust must be rebuilt, and that is not always easy. Suspicion may underlie everything that used to be easily trusted. If the spouse who betrayed is willing to take the time necessary to re-establish trust, and do whatever else it takes to save the marriage, and his or her partner is willing, it just may have a chance of working out.

Trust is the most challenging aspect that needs to be dealt with after an affair. Apologies and forgiveness are fine, but do little to rebuild trust. Time is the healer in mending a broken relationship. For that reason, the one who betrayed needs to be patient.

If you have betrayed your spouse, her behavior towards you may vary greatly from day to day. One day she’s nice and joking with you; the next day, she appears bitter and full of resentment. Arguments are no longer “just little fights”. They are won by the betrayed spouse who holds the ultimate ace up her sleeve.

Again, you may wonder how to save a marriage rocked by an affair, especially when you are willing to move forward, but your spouse seems stuck in pain. Actions and deeds over a long period of time might accomplish this. A marriage governed by fear, doubt, and mistrust will rapidly deteriorate.

If you are the betrayed spouse, you must decide if you are willing to trust your husband or wife again if you want the marriage to work. Make a decision to trust your spouse and stick to it. If he or she lives under an umbrella of suspicion all of the time, nothing will ever move forward.

You need to give your spouse the opportunity to be trustworthy, which won’t happen if you can’t give your spouse your trust. This will be the most difficult thing for the betrayed spouse to do. But a commitment to try to make the marriage work is worth the trust you put in to it once again.

The spouse who betrayed must do the following to help rebuild permanent trust:

1. Be careful of your behavior around the opposite sex, especially if your spouse is around. Even if she or he isn’t, word gets around. Don’t give your spouse a reason to start mistrusting you again.

2. Communicate – Ask your spouse what, at this point, will make him or her uncomfortable in your interactions with the opposite sex. Set guidelines together and follow them.

3. Make the right choices, and let your correct actions speak for themselves. Come home from work on time, or, if it’s impossible, call with a reasonable explanation.

4. Be honest about everything. White lies are not acceptable at this time.

5. Make your spouse your partner, your best friend, your confidante. Build up your spouse with words of love and endearment.

6. Counseling is also recommended. A professional can help both of you look at what happened, and deal with it. With honesty, and communication, you will be sending strong signals that you want your marriage to work. Let your spouse know you are recommitting yourself to him or her, and do it.

Eventually, the trust put in you will be genuine once again, and your marriage can blossom even more fully than before. An affair won’t go away, but you can’t change the past. You can only move forward and give your present marriage and life all your best. So for those who want to know how to rebuild trust after you have cheated, the answer is not easy, but by following the 6 guidelines above, a couple can give themselves a fighting chance, and a better, stronger marriage.

For more tips and recommendation on how to save a marriage after an affair, checkout Mort Fertel’s Marriage Fitness program on the internet. It offers a unique approach to healing a troubled marriage.