All marriages pass through a turbulent phase sometime or the other in a marital life. Sometimes one can save his or her marriage through proper communication with the spouse, mutual adjustments between the couple and a strong will.
However, there are certain circumstances when patch up between husband and wife may not work. The question that arises then is when should the person decide to terminate his marriage? Should the decision be based on certain signals; if so, what are those signals?
If a decision has been made regarding the timing of divorce, the next question that arises is whether should he consult an attorney specialized in divorce cases?
There is no need to feel shy about it. People would not normally like to carry on with the marriage for long because of children or somebody else, when the relationship between husband and wife becomes too soured to continue with it any longer.
Following are some of the 6 signs that indicate that it is time to end the marriage.
1) Troubles in marriage all through.
Some marriages take place very early in life or the married couple has nothing in common between them or there is no compatibility between the two. Such type of marriage will be on the rocks in no time.
Whatever be the reason, the marital relationship cannot continue any longer and therefore, it is high time it is terminated.
2) Behavioral problems.
Sometimes, divorce becomes inevitable because of bad manners or unacceptable actions of the spouse. These behavioral issues include use of intemperate language or rude behavior under the influence of alcohol or regular quarrels on some pretext or the other.
When the conduct of the spouse is not likely to improve, it is better to end the marriage and begin afresh.
3) Always at odds.
A marriage will not be a smooth affair with frequent skirmishes when the married partners hold opposite views on many issues.
If the situation continues for long, it may result in breakdown of marital relationship. Additionally, there may be conflicts of interests due to religious faiths or sexual matters. When the husband and wife find themselves always at loggerheads, the marriage is as good as finished.
However, these differences should reach a stage when there is no love lost between the two. That is the point when divorce is the only option.
4) All efforts have failed.
Sometimes consulting a ‘therapist’ or a marriage counselor may help.
However, in spite of repeated attempts to sort out the issues, there is no change in the attitude of the spouse and the problems persist, it is time to call it enough is enough and find a better life-partner.
5) Worries about the future of children.
If the troubled marital relationship has reached a point, where one feels that it may adversely affect the children, it is time to end the marriage.
Although some people are afraid that divorce may cause some harm to the children, continuing in an awful marriage can be equally harmful.
6) If the spouse is unfaithful.
Sometimes a woman can save a marriage after her husband ends an affair. However, if the betrayal occurs quite often, it is time for the wife to consider a divorce as it is quite clear that her husband is not going to mend his ways and continues to cheat her in spite of consulting a marriage counselor.
Sometimes people feel that their marriage is in tatters and the only option is to seek a divorce. These people do not analyze why they consider a divorce is the only recourse.
They do not think for a moment that this was the same person they loved so much when they were first married, continued to admire till recently and that there was no perceptible change in the attitude that merits a divorce. It is, perhaps, worthwhile to look at the various reasons why people think of breaking up their marriage and seek divorce.
1) Marriage is no longer sacrosanct.
For centuries, people regarded marriage as sacred and an inseparable bond between the married couple. However, a marriage is no longer sacrosanct these days.
Some people feel that they married for wrong reasons or never wanted marriage to be long-lasting. Younger generation is influenced by TV programs where celebrities are seen in non-conventional relationships and consequently. A very good example is the short marriage between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. These youngsters do not attach any importance to marriage. It is better for such people who do not value marriage to seek divorce instead of continuing with it
2) Not knowing each other.
Another reason why people prefer divorce is because they have married for too quickly before both the married couple could have any occasion to know each other properly. Sometimes intense desire for union would have prevailed over marrying early rather than waiting for real love to blossom.
After marriage, when the person finds more about his wife, he begins to question his own wisdom about marrying her in the first place. In such a situation a possible solution would be to make a sincere effort to understand her in more detail and pick up those aspects about the spouse that he can begin to love and appreciate.
3) Financial difficulties.
Another important reason why a person wants a divorce from his wife is that with the severe financial problems, he is not able to lead a comfortable married life. It is quite possible that when they married none of them was aware of how they were going to earn sufficient money to settle regularly all their bills.
At that time the person must have thought the marriage would strengthen their bond and sustain their union. As it has not happened that way, the person seeking divorce should explore various options to improve the financial position and not press for divorce.
Some of these options include joining a training course to learn a new trade, search for more lucrative job or availing the services of a financial consultant for managing the available financial resources better.
4) Mistrust between husband and wife.
It may be a case of mistrust in his or her spouse. This may be due to a genuine reason or one of the partners feel that there is no longer any attraction towards the other. In this case, proper communication is the essence. A regular contact between the husband and the wife is essential.
If a husband loves his wife, he should express it. It always pays to be truthful. If one of the partners has made any mistake, he or she should acknowledge it rather than trying to cover it up.
If there is disharmony between the couple, they should sort out themselves the issues that are bothering them. From these examples it may be clear that whatever be the issues there are always numerous options other than divorce.
The person seeking divorce should take time and exhaust all the available options before thinking of divorce. He or she would ultimately realize that divorce is not at all necessary and that the marriage would after all work well.