Communication is an attempt to convey information. The word, ‘communication’ is originated from the Latin word ‘communis’, which means ‘to share’.
Proper communication is very important in any marital relationship or relationship between two lovers. When there is an open, unadulterated and carefully nurtured communication between couple, it will contribute to a remarkable and healthy relationship.
Matters of mutual worries or anxieties will be known to both the partners and both of them will sit together and resolve issues concerning them. When there is an effective communication between couples all thorny issues affecting them will be thoroughly discussed and solutions found. Individual requirements are properly discussed and all plans are jointly developed.
Excellent communication is a key to maintaining and strengthening relationships between couple. Needless to mention, poor communication can mar a relationship, sometimes, even beyond redemption.
Here are a few tips that may be useful to correct an unpleasant situation caused by poor communication.
Understanding The Communication Process
Quite often written communication is most effective and free from conflicts or altercations as the person communicating will have the freedom to carefully select words for expressing his or her thoughts without getting influenced by the presence of the recipient. The recipient should also read the contents of the message carefully and grasp what the sender intends to convey through that message.
In this method, the thoughts are passed on from the sender to the recipient without the chance for the recipient to react immediately on the spur of the moment without thinking. In this process of communication between couple where no arguments are involved, the partner communicating should clearly express all thoughts, apprehensions and desires in writing.
This means that the partner is carrying out an evaluation of the other partner as well as their relationship. Likewise, the partner should follow the same procedure. The written communication between partners should take place in separate rooms or places.
The next step is to exchange the notes and read them separately. Both the partners should agree not to discuss the issues till the bitterness between them is fully eliminated and they are in proper frame of mind and relaxed state to discuss all the issues that have soured their relationship. This may take several hours, days or even a couple of weeks or more.
Both the partners should be sober without the influence of alcohol in order to ensure fruitful discussions.
Assessment Of Your Relationship
For comprehensive evaluation of the partner’s written communication, it is necessary to list out all possible areas that one wishes to look into. Either the list can be prepared in consultation with the partner without any discussion or generate the list by the concerned partner separately.
The list might comprise outlook, social and monetary aspects, appearance, areas of differences, sex- related issues, shouldering responsibilities and desires. One can appraise by a method of rating each factor. The gradation can be categorized as excellent, good or average or needs improvement.
The appraisal should also include the appraiser’s desires, personal needs and thoughts for comparison purposes. The purpose of the partner’s communication process and its evaluation is to get an opportunity to assess how strong is the relationship and to provide the partner a feedback that both of them can utilize to strengthen their relationship. An assessment should be honest, considerate and unbiased.
Examining Each Other Appraisal
After each partner has completed an assessment of the other, it is time to exchange appraisal statements. In marital relationship, this is the best opportunity for the husband to be aware what his wife thinks about him on various aspects. Similarly, the wife will get an idea of the husband’s feelings towards her. There may be some criticisms from both sides.
Both the partners should have the courage to face criticisms and examine them objectively without being defensive. As these are real feelings, there cannot be any dispute on this. The actual viewpoints of the partner cannot be challenged.
What is important for the husband is to understand what his wife thinks of him on various aspects. This type of sharing of views and likes and dislikes and acting on that information is very important for clearing any misunderstanding between the couple and strengthening marital relationship.
The appraisal will also give an indication of the extent of love and affection between the couple. Meeting to discuss appraisals and resolve differences. The last phase in the communication process is for the partners to meet and discuss their evaluations.
The couple should discuss in calm and composed frame of mind. The meeting is very important for both the partners and is the most intense type of communication of the whole relationship. Both the partners should be free and frank in discussing all the issues stated in the appraisals. If a person wants the partner to show readiness to change, he or she should also be prepared to change.
Similarly if a person wants the partner to be receptive to his or her requirements, that person must be willing to accommodate the partner’s needs as well.