When my first serious boyfriend broke up with me, I went over to my friends’ house and her dad began to talk to me about the break up. Towards the end of the conversation he stated, “Well, there are more fish in the sea.”
At the time this comment really made me angry because all I could think about is there may be more fish in the sea, but the fish I want doesn’t want me. I told all my friends about this cheeky comment her dad had made and how it did not make me feel better, and asked why he would even say something like that.
Looking back, I realized that what he said may have come off as rude, but instead of getting pissed off about it, I should have followed his advice. There are other men out there, and there might be a man who will treat me better and not dump me.
He was being optimistic, and I wasn’t. One of the keys to getting over a break up is being optimistic. Realizing that one door closed, and with that door being closed, it provided the opportunity for another door to open.
Understanding The Reason For The Break Up
There’s a reason you broke up, and maybe that reason was because there is someone better out there for you. Maybe the reason is that that person was causing emotional or physical pain, and now you are free from that.
Whatever the reason may be, try and focus on the positives, and how this break up has and will benefit you and your future. Another key to coping with a break up is not to analyze every little detail about your relationship, especially what you think you did wrong. If you take that route, you will probably end up deciding that everything is your fault and, it’s just going to make you feel guilty. That will get you nowhere.
Don’t call, text, or email the person you broke up with. You will never get over them if you keep initiating contact. Sometimes, you can see the sign of your partner cheating if you have SpyBubble software installed on his cell phone. The tracking software will discreetly store all the text messages and call logs which you can access from a secure server. With concrete prove of him cheating, you can decide if you want to stay with your partner. If they try and initiate contact with you, ignore it. Ask yourself, “How is talking to this person going to help me?” The answer to that question is that it won’t.
Also get rid of things that remind you of the person, you don’t need to throw them away necessarily, but remove them from plane view, put them in your basement. Sometimes it does help people to physically destroy items that remind them of the person they broke up with; you can try that as well, as it can provide empowerment.
Do talk about the break up with your friends and express your feelings. You need to go through the grief stage and talking about it helps you get through that stage and prepared for the next stage. If you don’t like talking about it with friends you could go see a professional counselor or you could try writing your feelings down.
Previously when I broke up with someone I wrote them a letter that stated everything that I wanted to say to them, but never got the chance to. I edited and rewrote it several times, and I found that every time I wrote it, I felt good and accomplished. I also noticed that every letter got nicer and with every letter I was getting over the relationship.
I never sent the letter and I don’t recommend that you do, but it feels incredible to write it all down. The most important thing to do is to stay active. Whatever it is that you like to do, keep doing it. Whether it is dancing, running, playing video games, reading, drawing, or lying on the beach, you need to keep doing the things you enjoy. Or try a new hobby or activity which you’ve always wanted to try.
You need to realize that life will go on and that there is more to life than that person you just broke up with. And my dad’s friend was right; there are more fish in the sea!
Getting Help From Professional Counselor
Sometimes, learning how to survive an affair which caused you to break up with your boyfriend can be tough. It is especially challenging if you are unable to get a hold of your emotion. It is very difficult to think rationally when your mind is in a mess. Get help from Dr. Frank Gunzburg, a professional relationship counselor with more than 35 years of face-to-face couple counseling experience.
Restoring trust after an affair might sound like an empty promise or too good to be true, but it is possible. Let Dr. Frank Gunzburg show you how. Click on the link below.