Are you experiencing stress and troubles trying to make it through an extramarital affair without losing your mind? There can be no doubt that uncovering an extramarital affair can be among the most hurtful and destructive experiences that one can have.
Let us take a look at the ways to not only make it through this difficult period, but also save your marriage along the way. If you want to make it through this time, you absolutely must be willing to release the emotional hurt that is tied up in the event and the way you frame it in your mind.
Rather than constantly reliving the pain and accusing your spouse for the affair, you need to start thinking about the bigger picture. Examine the motivations or causes that might have lead to your partner cheating; this is a critical step in your personal growth through this process.
You have to be as open minded and objective as you can be here, as this will help you distance yourself from the pain, and decrease the likelihood that anything like this will happen again.
Looking Into The Expertise Of A Professional
If it is plainly just too difficult to move beyond the feelings of hurt and betrayal that you undoubtedly will initially feel, a trained family or marriage therapist may be a good go-to. Marriage therapists have the training to help you piece together your relationship with your spouse and emphasize what really matters – rebuilding trust and connectedness.
You must keep in mind that this will be an ongoing and not an easy progression. It is so easy to get caught up in your feelings when you found out about the affair and discover that you are right back at square one emotionally. It is dangerous, though, to let this process take too long.
Letting the progression become protracted may let the negative emotions have control for too long, dooming your recovery as a couple. It may seem insurmountable at present the notion that you can get back to a healthy and trusting place with your partner. But remind yourself that many couples have successfully survived these types of transgressions.
What It All Boils Down To
What it boils down to, when it comes to making it through this ordeal, is trusting and having faith that your partner can fix whatever went wrong with your help, and that matters between you can be better than before the transgression occurred. You must also believe yourself that you have the power to help fix things and assume some responsibility for the work ahead.
Getting stuck down among all the feelings of hurt and betrayal is the largest danger and threat to making it through this ordeal. You must take the reins and ascend above the negativity, taking back control over your emotional well-being. You must also resist the temptation to act impulsively; impetuousness will only be cause for later grief.
Also remember to take advice from those with whom you are closest with a grain of salt. Though you may trust them, they do not have the complete picture that you do, and may be biased towards a very black-and-white interpretation of the situation in an effort to protect you.
Remember to avoid voicing anything that you will later rue. The adage “haste makes waste” may aptly be applied to this situation: take your time in order to reduce the number of emotional and relational missteps.
Years from now, when you think back to this difficult time through which you are living, you want to be proud of the way that you handled yourself and the situation. You want to feel like you made the proper decisions both for yourself and your spouse, so keep those happier times of the future in mind.