It is one of the most emotionally distressing and upsetting moments for a wife when she discovers that her husband has been disloyal to her and betrayed the marital bond between them. A combination of agony, anguish, envy and frustration overwhelms her and she finds her marriage in shambles.
In such a situation, her initial reaction is a feeling that she would never be able to recover from this humiliation brought about by her husband who has broken all the marriage vows. It looks as if the marriage has slim chances of survival after an affair has been discovered.
The wife appears totally lost unable to decide how she could continue to trust him and carry on with her married life along with such a person. When such an incidence occurs, the wife should first absorb the shock felt after her husband’s dishonesty came into open.
Most of the time, the wife does not want to even think about the affair. She spends a lot of time visualizing the images of what has been happening without her knowledge and what course it might take in the future.
Instead of keeping all the emotions to her and continue to suffer, the wife should talk to her husband frankly and ensure that he confesses everything about the affair It will be very unpleasant for the wife to listen to what the husband wants to reveal about the affair.
Even if it is disgusting to listen to all those details of the affair, it is better the truth comes out from her husband so that dirty pictures of the affair will not flash before her eyes again and again.
In addition, it is better to hear the truth from her husband directly rather than hearing from others as it would cause more agony. After her husband confesses about the affair, the wife should get a firm commitment that he would be faithful to her in future.
A marital relationship centered on deceit will not survive. After listening to her husband, the wife should decide whether she could give her dishonest husband another opportunity or break the marriage. The answer to the question whether marriage can survive an affair will be clear only after the wife has all the facts with her about her husband’s affair.
If the husband realizes his mistakes and wants the wife to give him another chance, he must be told in no uncertain terms that openness is crucial to survival of the marriage. Although it may be embarrassing for the husband to talk about his affair with another woman, his discomfiture is negligible compared to the distress his affair has caused his wife.
The wife must thwart any attempts by her husband to conceal some information about his affair during their discussions. The husband, on his part, should be prepared to give any type of assurances that the wife requires including a commitment that he would not repeat his acts of infidelity should he be given another opportunity.
The wife might get an impression that her husband is not so forthcoming while discussing certain details of his behavior regarding his affair and even justifies his illicit connections. He might even try to apportion the blame on his wife. In such a situation, he must be told explicitly that there is no place for dishonesty in a marital relationship and that his lame excuses will only hamper discussions.
If there no headway in the discussions aimed at surviving an affair, it is advisable to seek the services of a marriage counselor to help her in communicating with her husband forcefully.